You have to forgive a face as cute as this.
Don't you?
Sunday, September 30, 2007
A Mother Knows Best
I am SO mad at myself! I said all week:
"it is a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game"
I repeat:
"it is a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game"
Not only is the little boy not napping and therefore due to bed at 7pm, but darling hubby is going to be at a testosterone fest in Chalorttesville leaving me to handle both munchkins solo.
But push come to shove, after a glorious day in Baltimore with Nana, Memo, and Duk Duk...I started thinking:
"is it a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game?"
2 glasses of wine, 4 oz of formula, and a sippy of milk later we are in the governor's box watching the Orioles play the Yankees.
But let me repeat:
"IT IS A BAD IDEA FOR US TO GO TO A 7PM BASEBALL GAME!"
Fast forward to the 4th inning when not only did the Orioles give up 10 runs, but the little 3 year old did some running of his own: escaping from his nana causing her to drop all of her bags (truthfully only one was her bag, the other 2 were mine) throw off her sandals and take off barefoot down the street to grab him by the armpit (I remember that grip like it was yesterday!) and drag him to my car.
Can't say I didn't warn you!
"it is a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game"
I repeat:
"it is a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game"
Not only is the little boy not napping and therefore due to bed at 7pm, but darling hubby is going to be at a testosterone fest in Chalorttesville leaving me to handle both munchkins solo.
But push come to shove, after a glorious day in Baltimore with Nana, Memo, and Duk Duk...I started thinking:
"is it a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game?"
2 glasses of wine, 4 oz of formula, and a sippy of milk later we are in the governor's box watching the Orioles play the Yankees.
But let me repeat:
"IT IS A BAD IDEA FOR US TO GO TO A 7PM BASEBALL GAME!"
Fast forward to the 4th inning when not only did the Orioles give up 10 runs, but the little 3 year old did some running of his own: escaping from his nana causing her to drop all of her bags (truthfully only one was her bag, the other 2 were mine) throw off her sandals and take off barefoot down the street to grab him by the armpit (I remember that grip like it was yesterday!) and drag him to my car.
Can't say I didn't warn you!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Nap No More
Today is a very sad day in the development of my 3 1/2 year old. Today is the day that I acknowledge the loss of his nap.
May we have a moment of silence please?
Actually, that is all I have been asking for. Every day from 1-3:30...I ask for just one moment of silence. My son, the litigator, tells me that he can't sleep because Puppy and Baby Elephant are keeping him up, or because he can't remember how to close his eyes, or because he hears the birds outside. Yes, yes, these are all very valid excuses but seriously, can't you just be quiet?
Turns out he can't be quiet. There is no inside voice component on this child -just 2 volumes...loud and extra loud. I keep thinking maybe going to see the Blue Angels did damage to his ears...but no, I think this is just my loud, boisterous, can hear you down the street, not appropriate for the library child.
I keep saying, "if he doesn't take a nap he is going to be SO cranky"
But you know what???
It turns out that he is just fine without the nap, it is me that is cranky.
May we have a moment of silence please?
Actually, that is all I have been asking for. Every day from 1-3:30...I ask for just one moment of silence. My son, the litigator, tells me that he can't sleep because Puppy and Baby Elephant are keeping him up, or because he can't remember how to close his eyes, or because he hears the birds outside. Yes, yes, these are all very valid excuses but seriously, can't you just be quiet?
Turns out he can't be quiet. There is no inside voice component on this child -just 2 volumes...loud and extra loud. I keep thinking maybe going to see the Blue Angels did damage to his ears...but no, I think this is just my loud, boisterous, can hear you down the street, not appropriate for the library child.
I keep saying, "if he doesn't take a nap he is going to be SO cranky"
But you know what???
It turns out that he is just fine without the nap, it is me that is cranky.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The nerve of them!
How is it that when I tiptoe around the house, do my blending and mixing in a sound-proof room and don't even let a pin drop, my children wake from their naps at the first creak in the hardwoods they hear?
And today Cliff and his sidekick are here pounding and sawing and dropping steel bricks on the ground and there is narry a peep from the two rooms upstairs. (sidenote...my double ovens are installed so even if they did wake up I wouldn't care...my double ovens are here!)
I don't get the logic...but I guess I'll go with it!
And today Cliff and his sidekick are here pounding and sawing and dropping steel bricks on the ground and there is narry a peep from the two rooms upstairs. (sidenote...my double ovens are installed so even if they did wake up I wouldn't care...my double ovens are here!)
I don't get the logic...but I guess I'll go with it!
Friday, August 17, 2007
More things you shouldn't say...
And I'm talk to you honey...
1. I'm sooo tired (uhhh...is that because you were up every hour feeding your youngest or because you were watching Magnum reruns and drinking port on the couch???)
2. I feel fat (uhhh...is that because your body refuses to give up the extra 20 pounds from childbirth or because you had Hardee's, a smoothie, and a doughnut FOR BREAKFAST!)
3. I need a vacation (uhhh...is that because you haven't had 1 minute without being responsible for at least 1 child in the past 3 months or because you just returned home from a trip to LA WITHOUT KIDS, and are just a bit hungover)
1. I'm sooo tired (uhhh...is that because you were up every hour feeding your youngest or because you were watching Magnum reruns and drinking port on the couch???)
2. I feel fat (uhhh...is that because your body refuses to give up the extra 20 pounds from childbirth or because you had Hardee's, a smoothie, and a doughnut FOR BREAKFAST!)
3. I need a vacation (uhhh...is that because you haven't had 1 minute without being responsible for at least 1 child in the past 3 months or because you just returned home from a trip to LA WITHOUT KIDS, and are just a bit hungover)
Sunday, June 17, 2007
What you shouldn't say
1. You're so big it is hard to believe you aren't having twins
2. You know...sometimes the ultrasounds don't show the 2nd...you never know you might be having twins. Sure looks like it.
3. Are you having multiples? (said by a woman pushing twins in a stroller...really...she should know better)
4. Wow, your stomach is so wide, are you sure it isn't twins?
Just like you should NEVER assume that someone is pregnant until the words come directly out of their mouth, you should NEVER assume that someone is having twins unless the words come directly out of their mouth.
Just becasue I'm eating for 2, doesn't mean that I am having 2.
2. You know...sometimes the ultrasounds don't show the 2nd...you never know you might be having twins. Sure looks like it.
3. Are you having multiples? (said by a woman pushing twins in a stroller...really...she should know better)
4. Wow, your stomach is so wide, are you sure it isn't twins?
Just like you should NEVER assume that someone is pregnant until the words come directly out of their mouth, you should NEVER assume that someone is having twins unless the words come directly out of their mouth.
Just becasue I'm eating for 2, doesn't mean that I am having 2.
And I'm back!
Sorry for the delay in posts...too much to tell.
Let's just say in the past 4 months I have
1. ganied 35 pounds
2. moved 250 miles
3. cursed 1.5 million times
Never has anything rattled me as much as selling our house...and now that we have moved into the Money Pit (more on that later) never has anything caused me to lose so much sleep.
But that should all change in the next few weeks when out darling little girl, named Mildre-Will by our son makes her appearance. Then lack of sleep, annoying realtors, and broken hot water heaters and air conditioners won't even make the top ten of my gripes.
Stay tuned for that blog...it should be really fun!,
Let's just say in the past 4 months I have
1. ganied 35 pounds
2. moved 250 miles
3. cursed 1.5 million times
Never has anything rattled me as much as selling our house...and now that we have moved into the Money Pit (more on that later) never has anything caused me to lose so much sleep.
But that should all change in the next few weeks when out darling little girl, named Mildre-Will by our son makes her appearance. Then lack of sleep, annoying realtors, and broken hot water heaters and air conditioners won't even make the top ten of my gripes.
Stay tuned for that blog...it should be really fun!,
Sunday, February 11, 2007
No Saints for Valentines
Valentines, schmalentines. I have never liked this holiday. It may stem from the fact that I was single for the first 25 years of my life and always hoping that that certain someone would send me a rose during 2nd period. I was so desperate I would have even taken the carnation.
Fast forward to Wednesday when I will be celebrating my 9th valentines day with my husband. And I tell you, I still hate this holiday. Years past have brought gifts ranging from running shorts to body fat calipers. Romance is not his forte. And forethought...well usually the gifts roll around right after I throw a small temper tantrum and huf away.
So why can't I stop myself from hoping that this year will be different? Will I get a card? I doubt it. Will I get flowers? Definitely not. Will I get jewelry? You've got to be kidding me.
The only thing coming my way is a mattress...don't get carried away, this isn't romantic, and we're not reliving college..this is a twin mattress, it's for the little boy.
It seems the only holiday on good old hubby's radar is the very romantic President's Day. And guess what comes with that? A mattress sale.
Romance at its best. I'm so lucky.
Fast forward to Wednesday when I will be celebrating my 9th valentines day with my husband. And I tell you, I still hate this holiday. Years past have brought gifts ranging from running shorts to body fat calipers. Romance is not his forte. And forethought...well usually the gifts roll around right after I throw a small temper tantrum and huf away.
So why can't I stop myself from hoping that this year will be different? Will I get a card? I doubt it. Will I get flowers? Definitely not. Will I get jewelry? You've got to be kidding me.
The only thing coming my way is a mattress...don't get carried away, this isn't romantic, and we're not reliving college..this is a twin mattress, it's for the little boy.
It seems the only holiday on good old hubby's radar is the very romantic President's Day. And guess what comes with that? A mattress sale.
Romance at its best. I'm so lucky.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
A House Selling Mystery
So who on my street wants us to leave so badly that they are putting up signs around the neighborhood directing potential buyers to our house? I have put up one sign in front of our house...but there is a mysterious one at the top of our street...who would do such a thing?
All fingers point to the neighbor with the yappy dog. But seriously, all you have to do to help our house sell is keep your dog inside...and you too for that matter!
All fingers point to the neighbor with the yappy dog. But seriously, all you have to do to help our house sell is keep your dog inside...and you too for that matter!
Not everything is included
House on Market...Day 1
4 pamphlets taken...and one went to my nosy neighbor down the street who asked me to give it to him so he didn't have to get out of his car. Does he know that it cost me $1 to color copy one of those things???
1 showing....things were going swimmingly until the end. I bribed darling son to sit on our bed and eat a picnic and watch Cars. He did well while "mommy's friends" inspected the closets, pantry, and bedrooms. In fact he did SO well that he neglected to tell me that he had to go potty. So imagine the potential buyers surprise when they went to check out the master bedroom and bath and they found naked boy standing in a puddle of pee.
No, as much as you ask, you cannot have the naked boy OR the pee if you buy the house. They are both all mine!
4 pamphlets taken...and one went to my nosy neighbor down the street who asked me to give it to him so he didn't have to get out of his car. Does he know that it cost me $1 to color copy one of those things???
1 showing....things were going swimmingly until the end. I bribed darling son to sit on our bed and eat a picnic and watch Cars. He did well while "mommy's friends" inspected the closets, pantry, and bedrooms. In fact he did SO well that he neglected to tell me that he had to go potty. So imagine the potential buyers surprise when they went to check out the master bedroom and bath and they found naked boy standing in a puddle of pee.
No, as much as you ask, you cannot have the naked boy OR the pee if you buy the house. They are both all mine!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Sick...in the head!
OK, really, you are killing me.
Let me preface this with...I LOVE my husband. (I have to say that so that when he reads this he doesn't instantly make me go back to work and stop writing about him!)
But what is it about men and their ability to handle sickness?
Rewind 14 weeks when my pregnancy started and I would say..."I really don't feel well today" What is my ideal response? "I'm sorry honey, what can I do?" Instead...I get "Yeah, me too, my stomach is acting up."
UHHH...unless those medical devices you are selling do something totally radical...you ARE NOT sick like me! But feel free to jump on the bandwagon.
Fast forward to this week where my son and I have suffered (and I mean suffered) the stomach bug. It has not been pretty, and darling hubby did do a good job taking care of us on Sunday. But come Monday night...lordy can't you see it coming????
"My stomach doesn't feel right"
Well let me tell you buddy...with a Captain Morgan's and Gingerale in one hand and a cigar in the other...you aren't getting much sympathy from me.
Let me preface this with...I LOVE my husband. (I have to say that so that when he reads this he doesn't instantly make me go back to work and stop writing about him!)
But what is it about men and their ability to handle sickness?
Rewind 14 weeks when my pregnancy started and I would say..."I really don't feel well today" What is my ideal response? "I'm sorry honey, what can I do?" Instead...I get "Yeah, me too, my stomach is acting up."
UHHH...unless those medical devices you are selling do something totally radical...you ARE NOT sick like me! But feel free to jump on the bandwagon.
Fast forward to this week where my son and I have suffered (and I mean suffered) the stomach bug. It has not been pretty, and darling hubby did do a good job taking care of us on Sunday. But come Monday night...lordy can't you see it coming????
"My stomach doesn't feel right"
Well let me tell you buddy...with a Captain Morgan's and Gingerale in one hand and a cigar in the other...you aren't getting much sympathy from me.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Christmas in the Tropics
So many good things come from living in the south.
- biscuits are available at all times of the day
- golf can be played 365 days a year
- the pool opens in April and closes in October
But one thing I can't wrap my enthusiasm around is this winter weather. If our darling President came down here this weekend, I assure you, he would start to believe in global warming. We celebrated Christmas this weekend with t-shirts and shorts, t-ball in the backyard, and watching the football game on the back deck.
I have to say that I am a traditionalist. I prefer my wool turtleneck sweaters, the fireplace on, and hot chocolate. OK...so maybe I wouldn't be complaining if we really were in the tropics, but what's the point of this weather if the pool isn't even open?
Sunday, December 03, 2006
For the Love of Christmas
What's so wrong with a bribe? I ask.
It works getting good tables at nice restaurants.
It helps getting your construction jobs done on time.
It makes sure that your newspaper arrives on your doorstep each day (I know he says it is a voluntary christmas present...but please)
It also gets your 2 year old to go on the potty.
But come Dec 1, bribing has been brought to a new level and the bribe is in the name of Santa Claus.
No fewer than 10 times a day the phrase "if you're not a good boy, Santa won't come to see you" comes out of my mouth. AND IT WORKS.
All the toys are put away.
All our vegetables are eaten (who knew Santa cared about eating green beans?)
We share with our friends.
And we don't whine.
I love Santa, and I am even starting to believe in him. I must have been a very good girl this year because I can tell that for the next month, I'm going to get everything I ask for!
It works getting good tables at nice restaurants.
It helps getting your construction jobs done on time.
It makes sure that your newspaper arrives on your doorstep each day (I know he says it is a voluntary christmas present...but please)
It also gets your 2 year old to go on the potty.
But come Dec 1, bribing has been brought to a new level and the bribe is in the name of Santa Claus.
No fewer than 10 times a day the phrase "if you're not a good boy, Santa won't come to see you" comes out of my mouth. AND IT WORKS.
All the toys are put away.
All our vegetables are eaten (who knew Santa cared about eating green beans?)
We share with our friends.
And we don't whine.
I love Santa, and I am even starting to believe in him. I must have been a very good girl this year because I can tell that for the next month, I'm going to get everything I ask for!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Secret Post #2
We all have lists that we create in our heads. Places we want to visit. Movies to rent. And the all important: Food I'll eat when I'm pregnant.
I am a lifer in the diet world, so I view the next 9 months as a get out of jail card free card. Yes, I know it will be hard to lose the weight. Yes, I know I am only supposed to eat 300 more calories a day than normal. and Yes I know that I am only supposed to gain 25 pounds. Well, all I have to say is TOO BAD!
Since losing all the weight from baby #1, I have created a list of foods I will eat when I pregnant and here they are (in no particular order)
1. Cheese fries
2. Cinnabon
3. Butter Cream eggs in my freezer that my aunt made us for Easter
4. Milkshakes, milkshakes, and more milkshakes
But I have to tell you, my body is screwing me right now, because here is what it is telling me it wants these days:
1. fruit salad
2. milk
3. raw veggies and hummus
4. 5+ gallons of water
So I have to ask...WTF??? Why is my body so mean to me? And why do I look so good in my skinny jeans?
I am a lifer in the diet world, so I view the next 9 months as a get out of jail card free card. Yes, I know it will be hard to lose the weight. Yes, I know I am only supposed to eat 300 more calories a day than normal. and Yes I know that I am only supposed to gain 25 pounds. Well, all I have to say is TOO BAD!
Since losing all the weight from baby #1, I have created a list of foods I will eat when I pregnant and here they are (in no particular order)
1. Cheese fries
2. Cinnabon
3. Butter Cream eggs in my freezer that my aunt made us for Easter
4. Milkshakes, milkshakes, and more milkshakes
But I have to tell you, my body is screwing me right now, because here is what it is telling me it wants these days:
1. fruit salad
2. milk
3. raw veggies and hummus
4. 5+ gallons of water
So I have to ask...WTF??? Why is my body so mean to me? And why do I look so good in my skinny jeans?
Secret Post #1
Puke and sleep, puke and sleep,that is all I can think about these days. Memories of an occasional night in the basement of Theta come to mind when I put that combo together. Where else but in college could I learn to first put down a towel, then a garbage can lined with a plastic bag, and place a Gatorade right next to my head.
Unfortunately, there have been no kegs of Natural Light involved in this scenario. Just good old fashioned pregnancy.
Unfortunately, there have been no kegs of Natural Light involved in this scenario. Just good old fashioned pregnancy.
So I've been wondering...
At what point in my life did it become fashionable to carry around a purse that is so big it warrants wheels and even a weigh in at the airport check in desk?
I think that the official sign that I need to remove a few items from the bag came when I went to pay tonight at the local grocery store and the poor check out boy had to pick up a pair of Diego undies that I flung across the counter as I was searching for my wallet.
If you don't know who Diego is...well then...I guess you have a smaller purse than I do!
I think that the official sign that I need to remove a few items from the bag came when I went to pay tonight at the local grocery store and the poor check out boy had to pick up a pair of Diego undies that I flung across the counter as I was searching for my wallet.
If you don't know who Diego is...well then...I guess you have a smaller purse than I do!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Sigh of Relief
Thank you Speaker of the House Pelosi. Thank you Senator Webb. Thank you Governor O'Malley.
My darling son's grandparents can now move home.
Put away the real estate brochures for France and Canada...it might be safe here.
And please, please, please...can you find at Duty Free a nice candidate for 2008???
My darling son's grandparents can now move home.
Put away the real estate brochures for France and Canada...it might be safe here.
And please, please, please...can you find at Duty Free a nice candidate for 2008???
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Such a Hypocrite!
OK...when preparing for our Halloween party, I may have gone just a bit overboard. I shopped all the good party sites online, caroused Target multiple times, got a few 10lb bags of candy from Sam's Club and considered myself good to go.
I must have gotten a little too excited when purchasing from one online site, for when I opened the box, there were not 24 pumpkin bouncy balls, but 240. Oops. I immediately got flashbacks from my mother's online grocery fiasco back in 2005 when we ended up with a bushel of apples.
So when I only needed 10 pumpkin bouncy balls, and I am too lazy to return them (be realistic, they only cost $2.40...TOTAL) I decided to hand them out as Halloween "treats."
Sure you can pull that off when the 2 and 3 year olds come to your door. But I am now realizing that I am setting myself up to get egged by the ungrateful 12 and 13 year olds!
What really is making them angry is me licking the chocolate off my fingers from the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups as I open the door.
I'd egg me too.
I must have gotten a little too excited when purchasing from one online site, for when I opened the box, there were not 24 pumpkin bouncy balls, but 240. Oops. I immediately got flashbacks from my mother's online grocery fiasco back in 2005 when we ended up with a bushel of apples.
So when I only needed 10 pumpkin bouncy balls, and I am too lazy to return them (be realistic, they only cost $2.40...TOTAL) I decided to hand them out as Halloween "treats."
Sure you can pull that off when the 2 and 3 year olds come to your door. But I am now realizing that I am setting myself up to get egged by the ungrateful 12 and 13 year olds!
What really is making them angry is me licking the chocolate off my fingers from the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups as I open the door.
I'd egg me too.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Something's Wrong Here
So this morning I went to a reunion of sorts with the women I went to grad school with. For those of you who don't know, I am one of the 60% of women who do not use their master's degree. It is a horrifying statistic, I know, and I'll tell you why...
As I am waiting all alone at a table for eight for my girlfriends to show up, I found myself gazing outside watching all the beautifully dresses coeds and parents walk by on the street (it is parent's weekend here in college land). Of course the obscenity of 18 year olds in Gucci, Prada, and even one boy in a jailhouse jumper (he must have still been in his costume from last night...his parents must be proud!) all caught my eye, but what really caught my eye was a bright pink Cadilac driving down the street. I smiled, but was distracted when my friends finally arrived (20 minutes AFTER we agreed).
We all caught up, went round the table saying what we were all doing now 6 years after grad school. While most of us are still in schools, you cannot imagine my shock when one girl explained that she only worked in a school for one year before she quit to work for Mary Kay full time. It turns out that she could make more money in one month off her commissions, than she did from the great schol system. So she is now a full time Mary Kay agent. And we're not talking little stuff. She has 3 people that work for her, label her products, ship them, and take her orders. She is one of the top sales people in the country and is the proud owner of the pink Cadilac that went cruising down the street.
Now tell me...what is wrong with our education system when you can make 4x as much money selling Mary Kay and having a bumber sticker on your car that says "Lipstick for Jesus" than being a teacher or a school counselor?
As I am waiting all alone at a table for eight for my girlfriends to show up, I found myself gazing outside watching all the beautifully dresses coeds and parents walk by on the street (it is parent's weekend here in college land). Of course the obscenity of 18 year olds in Gucci, Prada, and even one boy in a jailhouse jumper (he must have still been in his costume from last night...his parents must be proud!) all caught my eye, but what really caught my eye was a bright pink Cadilac driving down the street. I smiled, but was distracted when my friends finally arrived (20 minutes AFTER we agreed).
We all caught up, went round the table saying what we were all doing now 6 years after grad school. While most of us are still in schools, you cannot imagine my shock when one girl explained that she only worked in a school for one year before she quit to work for Mary Kay full time. It turns out that she could make more money in one month off her commissions, than she did from the great schol system. So she is now a full time Mary Kay agent. And we're not talking little stuff. She has 3 people that work for her, label her products, ship them, and take her orders. She is one of the top sales people in the country and is the proud owner of the pink Cadilac that went cruising down the street.
Now tell me...what is wrong with our education system when you can make 4x as much money selling Mary Kay and having a bumber sticker on your car that says "Lipstick for Jesus" than being a teacher or a school counselor?
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