what makes me cranky...and more

You want to know makes me cranky? No internet service.

It isn't that I have had deep, profound things to say to you all. In fact, NOTHING has happened in the five days that I have gone without internet service...but you wouldn't know that would you...becuase I couldn't tell you.

What kills me is that our interent goes out and I think that I am missing the world. Who is emailing me? Who wants to be my facebook friend? What new blog posts are there? What's my bank balance? AND...does Brittany have custody of her kids yet?

But without internet service, I am totally at a loss. I know nothing, yet I think that SO much is happening. And it kills me.

So today, I drive 4 hours to get to my in-laws (not just to get internet, but it did make me drive a bit faster) and I found that I had only 10 e-mails (3 of which mattered AT ALL), there was only 1 new blog post of interest, and NO ONE wanted to be my friend.

So all that anxiety for the past 3 days was for nothing.

But how else am I supposed to pass nap time each day if I don't have service?

Thighs and other parts

I recently was able to visit a very good friend of mine and there are 1 million reasons why I love her, but today the reason is that she has made me 100% embrace my girl's thighs. When I saw her, she and her sister couldn't get enough of the thighs and the overall squishiness of my daughter. They were squealing and drooling over her baby fat like I do when I pass Cinnabon in the mall. And after just a few hours I realized that I, too, am in awe of all her rolls, skin, and generous padding.

And I also love this friend because for my daughter's birthday she sent her a string bikini. No, not with any intention that she would wear it in public, but just with the simple request that I try it on, take pictures and send them to her. And when I did, she asked that I resend them in a higher resolution (what she is going to do with these pictures, I don't know) So below are the pictures just to hammer in that last nail when my girl is 13 and has a list of 100 things why she hates me. Don't forget honey that I posted these pictures of you on my blog. I would hate me too.

Please enjoy the only picture of any of my family in a bikini this year (I hold hope that I will strut Heidi Klum style one day!)

If you read closely this tag says,UPF 50+, excellent UV protection. I ask...on what? Her nipples? Good, I would hate her nipples to get sunburned at so early an age. We'll save that for when she goes topless on her summer trip to France a la Duk Duk.

Finally, here she is perfecting her red carpet, over the shoulder, maybe they can't see my belly shot.

I do know that she'll have a point when she brings this up in 10 years...but for now, I am so grateful for my friend and her sense of humor!

Who's looking at my Facebook?

OK..I may be 33, with 2 kids, a bathing suit from Lands End, and a volvo wagon...but does that stop me from social networking? I think not.

I joined Facebook. Really I joined it because my hip, NYC based, cutting edge, MBA student, best friend told me that I should. And let's be honest...when she told me I should wax, I did...so why wouldn't I listen to her this time?

I enjoy facebook. I like reading the little blurbs of what people are up to. Some of these people I haven't laid eyes on in nearly 20 years, but I still like knowing what they doing. I am a voyeur...not doubt about that, so facebook is perfect in that sense. I check out people's photos, read their updates and then move on to people.com

But facebook also kind of wierds me out. On one side of the page, it continually suggests more friends for you. Yes, yes, facebook, I know these people. Enough already. As many times as you float his/her picture out there I am not going to be friends with them (exposing your profile page to them and vice versa). Honestly, we weren't friends when you programmed with Lotus in computer class, so why would be friends now? And after thinking about all the people who are seeing my picture on a daily basis saying the same thing, I updated my profile picture to uber-hot, sexy, skinny photo rather than ski hat and baby bjorn picture.

Old profile picture:

New profile picture

But do you want to know what really gets me? The targeted ads from facebook sponsors. Most recently it keeps flashing, "28-35 and overweight?" Uh....f-you facebook, I'm working on it ok? Two kids, busy life...not as fit as I would like to be...but I'm wokring on it already! And after multiple days of calling me fat today it said, "married and need more sex life?" Damnit facebook...leave me alone. You are maing me cranky and by the way...have you not seen my new profile picture? I'm not fat...and by the looks of it, I'm not hard up either. Keep your opinions to yourself as I voyeur on all my friends.

Happy 1st Birthday

Modesty

I used to be modest. I was covered up, never over-exposed and running to the nearest closet, bathroom, port-a-potty, whatever to change my clothes, brush my hair, or even just readjust. SO much has changed.

I suppose it may be the two times that I have sat nearly half naked with at least 15 people coming in and out of my room for hours upon hours upon hours. Childbirth really does shoot a hole in your modesty. OK...more like a meteor in my modesty.

But I didn't realize that I had lost all modesty until this week. See this week we went to the in-laws to go to the beach and withing 24 hours I was peeing with the door open, changing my bathing suit top at the beach (I got dressed in the dark and it was inside out when I got there), and worst of all I was running around the beach, I mean full sprint/ball chasing/4 year old catching/not good for my jiggling thighs/ running in just a bathing suit.

You certainly never would have caught me doing that 5 years ago. And I am sorry if you caught me doing that this year.