Wednesday, December 19, 2007

12 Days of Christmas

Let's just cut to the last verse and it is much better if you sing it out loud!!

On the twelveth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

12 hours of sleep (continuous, not just over a period of 3 days)
11 friends to play with (at their house!)
10 pedicured toes (a manicure would be pushing it!)
9 days without bed wetting (now I'm getting really greedy!)
8 minute carpool line
7 pounds lost (that would get me back to even!)
6 days at the gym (even God took one day off!)
4 hour naps
3 square meals
2 healthy kids
and a maid to clean up after me! (not every other week...ALL THE TIME!)

Bad Mommy

I have been thinking for months about all the things I swore I would never do as a parent back when I was not a parent. I'm never even really positive about the contents of this "list" until I get to the point where I have to break one of the rules.

They include things such as:
1. I won't make a scene in a restaurant, store, library, or any quiet place. HA! Did that one about 15 million times already

2. I won't let my child pee outside, on the side of the road or any place other than a bathroom. Did you see us on the side of 95 South that day peeing in the woods?

3. I won't let my kids have those motorized vehicles that are fake jeeps, hummers, race cars etc. In my garage there are now TWO of them, thanks to the neighbors.

4, I won't succomb to the junk food, processed food that is so available and will give my kids all natural homemade products. Just ask my mother about our trip to Vienna where my son only ate processed orange food. Oops.

Most of these "rules" I set out for myself were broken with my son, but today I was able to break two of them with my daughter simultaneously.

5. I won't neglect my child, ignore their cries, or leave them wanting. I did all 3. Little baby girl was playing in the exersaucer and started to make some noise. I was doing some other things and wanted her to hold off for her nap until we got in the car in 10 minutes. She whined, she cried, she fussed, but she was going to be okay. I checked my e-mail, I changed the laundry, I emptied the dishwasher. And then I decided to check on her. There she was, as cute as a button, asleep in the exersaucer. This is not an easy thing to do.

So as I ran to get my camera to document this neglect (wouldn't this story be better with a photo?) another rule got broken

6. I won't let animals lick, maul, eat my children

When I got back to sleeping beauty she was awake because the dog was standing right in her face and licking it.

Hmmm...send this one to DSS.

He must hate me

So yesterday was my husband's birthday and I had such a great plan. I had a sitter, I had reservations, and I even had clean clothes and makeup to wear. But the plan was tossed aside when my husband couldn't get home from work in time and we instead looked for a Plan B . So the conversation went something like this...

Me: So what do you want to do? I can meet you somewhere.
Him: I don't care, I just don't want to eat at a mall.
Me: Hmmm...I don't know where anything is around here if it isn't at the mall.
Him: You don't know where ANYTHING is that isn't at a mall.
Me: not really. I know where 3 Cheesecake Factory's are, but I don't know of any free standing restaurants around here that aren't at a mall
Him: Fine, we'll eat at a mall, on December 18, at night, on my birthday...fine.

So I get to the restaurant and my husband is no where to be found. I call him on his cell.

Me: Where are you? What's taking so long.
Him: I'm here, I'm just looking for a parking space

10 minutes later I call back
Me: What is going on? What's the problem?
Him: I finally found a spot by Macy's, I'm walking the 15 miles to the restaurant, I'll be right there.

I think I hear him mutter something about "happy birthday to me" as we hang up.

Eventually we enjoy a nice dinner together. Let's be honest, for the 2 of us to even eat dinner without shouting over the 3 year old, the crying 5 month old, and the whining could be at McDonald's and we'd be happy. Add to it a couple of margaritas and raspberry martinis...and everything is great. So as we wrap up dinner, I tell him to go ahead get started back to his car (The way he describes it, he parked in Wyoming!) and I'll meet him home.

When I got home, I paid the sitter, checked my e-mail and then my kids (in that order) and settled down to the couch. About 25 minutes later it dawned on me...Where IS he? So I called.

Me: Where are you?
Him: I'm still at the f&^**^ing mall. I can't find my car.
Me: What can I do?
Him: silence

Another 25 minutes pass and I am doing my best not to fall asleep on the couch before he gets home. Eventually he confides that the red packages with ribbons he used to remember which entrance of Macy's he used were at all 10 entrances. I didn't ask too many questions, just served some birthday cake, yawned, and whispered quietly as I walked up stairs

Me: We shouldn't have eaten at the mall.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

A Christmas Tag

I've never done this before...but here we go...I'm only doing this for you Boom!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I would love to be so martha and wrap everything...but in a pinch, a bag and some tissue!
2. Real tree or artificial?
No question, Real!
3. When do you put up the tree?
Next weekend, we just haven't been home to do it yet!
4. When do you take the tree down?
New's Years Day. I'm already feeling down from the disappointment of New Years, why not just go with the depression!
5. Do you like eggnog?
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
a riding saddle. In fact, I just got rid of it last the delight of my husband.
7. Have a Nativity scene?
8. Hardest person to buy for?
my in-laws, for sure!
9. Easiest person to buy for?
my 5 month old. She's going to LOVE everything I got her :)
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
jogging shorts and fat calipers (to measure my body fat) from my husband. He swears I asked for them!
11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
mail. Come to think of it, I better get on those!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Christmas Story. Eat like the piggies!
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
RIght after Halloween. I start with all the online stuff, become friendly with the UPS guy and of course, I always end up at the mall the week before christmas!
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Well, for about 25 years we have been handing a fruitcake back and forth bewteen two families. Not exactly what I would call a present, more like a weighted brick of love.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My Aunt Jenie's cookies that my father is now starting to cook. BTW...1 is about 15 points on WW
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
17. Favorite Christmas song?
Carol of the Bells, though I can't sing I loved singing that in chorus "ding dong, ding dong"
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
oh so sad...we used to travel Rome, Vienna, London...but this year it is home sweet home.
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Not unless dopey is one of them!
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Morning, noon and night. My sister and I fight over who can open the last present. We like to drag it out...of course because presents equals cocktail hour!
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
those blow up decorations...they are NOT decorations, just ugly! AND...long typed out letters accompanying christmas cards.
23. What I love most about Christmas? repeat! OH...and christmas cards with pictures.

Snow Day!

Snow Day! part 1

I have always loved snow days. When I was little I remember begging my dad to cancel school. (and unlike many other kids, my father actually had the power to do so.) I would wake up at 5am just to hear him walk down the hall and turn off my alarm clock. No matter, I was already wide awake.

And then when I was a teacher myself I would wish for them like a little girl wishing for a pony. Oh, what I wouldn't do to have an extra day to grade papers, catch up on report cards, or write lesson plans. And like any good snow day, I would always spend it curled up on the couch watching Oprah and Ellen, reading the People magazine (purchased the day before in hopes there would be a snow day) and taking cat naps.

But I have to tell you nothing makes a snow day better than when you wake with a cry of joy from the monitor, "YAY! It's Christmas!" My little boy, looking out his window this morning and seeing all of the snow just assumed that Santa had come, Christmas was here, and there was joy to be spread around the world. And then he added, "AND Mommy, it is a school day too!" As if life couldn't get any better...snow, santa and school. He had hit the trifecta.

So one can only imagine the disappointment when he came downstairs and found that not only had Santa not come, but school was closed. Yes there was snow, but it seemed to have ruined all of his plans. Luckily for us, nothing changes a sad face around here like chocolate chip cookies and some sledding. So the crisis had been diverted, snow days are still fun around here and by lunch time, even the dog was smiling (can't you see it in the pictures?)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

School enthusiasm!

My little boy LOVES preschool.

But rewind 3 months, 6 months, or even a year and the story was not the same. My Mr. Independent was Mr. Clingy. Crying, grabbing, planting himself in front of the door so I couldn't leave, hyperventilating, and even pretending not to feel well so he didn't have to go (I thought you only learned how to do that in Middle School!). I was starting to have visions of him living at home, going to Strayer University online and never leaving...EVER.

But something miraculous has happened. He is completely obsessed with preschool, his teachers, and his friends. He wants to be there every day, wants to eat lunch every afternoon, and really prefers to be there rather anywhere. Hey, I'm not complaining, I'm just reporting.

What is ironic is that when we moved here, I really resisted this particular preschool. I'm not a very religious person and thought I would prefer a non-church based school. I thought it would fit my beliefs and personality more and would also keep my mother off my back. But when all other options fell through, I ended up here. And let me tell you, church based or not...this is the best place in the world...AND my mother hasn't given me grief ONCE. Now if you want to talk miraculous...

So here I am, 7:30am and the little boy has been dressed and ready to go to school since 6:45. His shoes are on, his lunch is packed, and his bag is ready. I, on the other hand, haven't even made a coffee, had a diet coke, or picked up the newspaper. We're obviously on different schedules. I keep telling him that it is going to be a long time until we can go...and he says it is worth the wait!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The stars have aligned

For me, it is the most wonderful time of the year. No not Thanksgiving, and not Christmas, and not my husband's birthday right in the middle of all of these events.

It's Oprah's Favorite Things episode.

I usually try not to get into all of the Oprah hype. I don't read her books, I rarely watch her show, but for some reason I look forward to this show more than I really should. So as soon as I heard that the show was today, I set my TIVO and looked forward to bed time so that I can catch what all the must haves are for this year. Granted, I never buy any of them...but it is always good to be in the know.

So imagine my extreme joy when my three year old-- mr. no-napper himself-- sacks out for a super nap this afternoon. So I sit here, writing on my blog about nothing, drinking my 3 point latte (worth every point), watching my favorite thing.

Today...All the stars have aligned.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I want to be an After!

I have done every diet in the books. Jenny Craig, LA Weightloss, Nutri System, the Zone, Atkins, 5 Factor (who wouldn't do a diet that Jessica Simpson did??) and this week I went back to old faithful...Weight Watchers.

Back in 1988 I did Weight Watchers and rejoining this week was like greeting an old friend. The plan is the same,the books are the same, the Thanksgiving pep talk was the same, and certainly the decorations in the room are exactly the same. (not to mention they still recommend that you don't eat doritos and pop tarts...imagine that!)

So you might ask, what is unique about each of these diets...and the simple answer is nothing. Each one requires that you watch your portion control, limit your bad carbs, drink obscene amounts of water...oh and speaking of obscene must pay them obscene amounts of money in order to suffer in this "lifestyle" they prescribe.

So why, you ask, do I keep jumping around from one to the other? I'll tell you...before and after pictures. I am a sucker for the bedraggled mom of 5 haven't showered or washed her clothes in 5 days before shot turned glamour girl with her blown out hair and professionally makeupped face in a bikini.

The fact of the matter is that bikini or not, I want to be an after.
So here I am neurotic like Bridget Jones...counting my points, weighing my food, and praying for a small (or rather large actually) weight loss miracle.
I promise not to post the pictures

Friday, November 09, 2007

What could have been

About 15 years ago a friend of mine asked, "Have you heard of this new company, Starbucks?"

I, ignorantly, said "no, what is it?"

She explained that it was a great new store that sold all sorts of good coffee. And then she proclaimed, "We should invest in it, I bet we would make SO much money"

Fast forward 15 years and I am hoping that my friend is a millionaire, all I am is addicted. In fact, I literally don't think that I could get anywhere without Starbucks. Since moving to DC my entire means of measurement are in the units of Starbucks.
How tired am I?
Venti with an extra shot tired
How many Weight Watcher points can I spare?
You can have a sugar free vanilla latte
What does my son think is his favorite treat?
A tall mocha frapachino lite (no judgement please)
Where is our next playdate?
Go past the Starbucks next to the Giant, turn at the one in the Target, and the park is next to the Starbucks near the Home Depot.
How long does it take to get to preschool?
10 minutes normally, but allow 17 if you want to go through the drive through Starbucks.
I'm not rich, but I sure am glad that I was introduced to this form of crack at such an early age.

Moving on

Halloween came and went so fast. I am so sad, it is my favorite holiday and now all that is to be seens are singing Santas and blow up Rudolphs. I love the costumes, I love the pumpkins, and of course...I love all the candy (and my son's candy too, but please don't tell him) But what I love more than anything else right now, is the ability to dress my children in any costume I want and claim them adorable.

But the fact of the matter is that this year I lost control. Sure, I still had control over the four month old, but if I have already lost control with her, shoot me. But with the 3 year old...that is another story.
When he first told me in August that he wanted to be a dinosaur, I accepted the idea. Of course I thought that a polar bear, a gorilla, or even a British marching guard would be better, but I could accept dinosaur. But then, when I stupidly showed him the costume I wanted for him online, he cried "NO NOT THAT KIND OF DINOSAUR!"
What I thought was a color, style, or even species choice, simply turned out to be a fabric choice.
So in a weak moment, I purchased the greenest, shiniest, and most flame non-resistant dinosaur costume we could find. The three year old...well, he was as happy as a t-rex. Me...well, I was just trying to keep him out of the way of the pumpkins for fear of a light show.
So next year, I hope to still have control over the little girl...but the boy...well let's just hope he doesn't want to be one of the pimps, goths, or skateboarders that come to my door. He can be shiny, but I still want him to be adorable.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Campaigning for some good PR

So my husband has started to read my blog and I think there is a direct correlation between that and his recent campaign for Father/Husband of the Week. I'm assuming that he feels misrepresented in my descriptions so he has made a concerted effort to give me NOTHING to write about.

I mean, if you remember to say "Happy Birthday" while I am still in bed and give me a present before breakfast...what can I write about?

I mean, if you call home to ask if I need anything from the store before you come home...what can I write about?

I mean, if you "go camping" with our 3 year old on a Friday night including a hike in the pouring down rain, hotdogs and s'mores by the fireplace, and sleeping ALL NIGHT in the tent in the family room...what can I write about?

And finally, if unsolicited you take the kids out of the house (where...I don't know and I don't care!) on Saturday morning so I could potentially read the paper and drink unlimited lattes (not exactly what happened, but the intent was there!)...what would I write about?

Have no fear, the campaign will soon be over and he will be exposed for the fraud he is, but in the mean time...I've got nothing to say.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

One can dream, can't she?

I have dreams. Dreams of sleeping through the night uniterrupted. Dreams of being on time. Dreams of running in just a sports bra (I promise to never do it, I just would like the option) But one dream I really think I might reach is...being a truly good chef.

Now, I have to admit that my nutri-system diet is getting in the way of my culinary skills. There is not a lot of skill involved in heating up a "tofu-na casserole" or a "beef substitute with gravy." But I have been sharpening my skills with my new favorite cookbook:

I'm all about deception, so this cookbook is right up my alley. Blend up cauliflower and put it in banana bread. Done. Puree beets and sweet potato and put it in chocolate cake. Double done. Put chicpeas in chocolate chip cookies. Well...the jury is out on this one, but it was worth a shot.

But you know what has been the best result from this endeavor? I have been hand grooming my little boy to be the biggest catch EVER. Not only does he know the difference between white sugar and brown sugar, and egg whites and egg yolks...but he also likes to spend the afternoon with me in the kitchen. I couldn't have dreamt of anything better!

Couldn't say it better myself

Read me...hilarious

Oh...the spanx dance. I know it well. I can do it in my sleep. And unfortuantely, my husband knows it too. In fact, he now sees me dressed up, puts his hand on my back, tells me I look great, and then rubs gently up and down to see if I have any help keeping my figure a little slimmer than usual...sooo romantic.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Red Dye #5

We love James. He was our favorite. That is, until they recalled him because he was made of lead paint. And to be honest, the tantrum that ensued from removing James from our house made lead poisoning look like a walk in a park.

Now fast forward 6 weeks...we're over James, but not over the red dye apparently.

Yesterday, while "napping" my little guy slipped into his favorite t-shirt. This is a shirt brought to him by his Nana and Memo directly from the Great Wall. After 2+ hours of "napping" (playing, yelling, stripping his bed, hiding under his bed and getting stuck) my little one finally fell asleep. Unfortunately for us, he forgot to go potty in all the excitement of the previous "napping." So 1 1/2 hours later I go to wake him up and find him in a Chinese sea of pink. Turns out the t-shirt is very generous. Not only did it make all of my daughter's clothes pink (ok...most of them were pink to begin with) the first time I washed it, but when mixed with what seemed to be a gallon of urine, it also makes the comforter and sheets pink too.

Let's hope that the removal of this red dye is easier than that of James!

Friday, October 05, 2007 for Mommies

The other day I was handed a mommy calling card. This is something that is handed to other potential "mommy friends" in the hopes that they'll call you for playdates and eventually become your BFF. Unfortunately, with this system there is no screening process so you might invest a lot of time getting to know someone just to find don't really like them.

What I need is something that is a little more modern, a little more scrutinizing, and a lot more skeptical. I want for mommies.

I can just see it now, I fill out the form saying that I am a 32 year old active stay at home mother or 2. My older son is tall, energetic, well-mannered, and funny as all get out. My daughter, while only 3 months, shows signs of extreme intelligence by chewing on a giraffe and pooping on a regular schedule. I'll post the most adorable picture of the 2 of them along with one of me that was taken well before I ever had any children. And then I'll wait to see the responses.

Response #1 would be from DELETE IMMEDIATELY
Response #2 would be from DELETE IMMEDIATELY
Response #3 would be from REPLY, REPLY, REPLY

See how much time that would save me? Wouldn't it be great?

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Can't Hold a Grudge

You have to forgive a face as cute as this.

Don't you?

A Mother Knows Best

I am SO mad at myself! I said all week:

"it is a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game"

I repeat:

"it is a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game"

Not only is the little boy not napping and therefore due to bed at 7pm, but darling hubby is going to be at a testosterone fest in Chalorttesville leaving me to handle both munchkins solo.

But push come to shove, after a glorious day in Baltimore with Nana, Memo, and Duk Duk...I started thinking:

"is it a bad idea for us to go to a 7pm baseball game?"

2 glasses of wine, 4 oz of formula, and a sippy of milk later we are in the governor's box watching the Orioles play the Yankees.

But let me repeat:


Fast forward to the 4th inning when not only did the Orioles give up 10 runs, but the little 3 year old did some running of his own: escaping from his nana causing her to drop all of her bags (truthfully only one was her bag, the other 2 were mine) throw off her sandals and take off barefoot down the street to grab him by the armpit (I remember that grip like it was yesterday!) and drag him to my car.

Can't say I didn't warn you!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Nap No More

Today is a very sad day in the development of my 3 1/2 year old. Today is the day that I acknowledge the loss of his nap.

May we have a moment of silence please?

Actually, that is all I have been asking for. Every day from 1-3:30...I ask for just one moment of silence. My son, the litigator, tells me that he can't sleep because Puppy and Baby Elephant are keeping him up, or because he can't remember how to close his eyes, or because he hears the birds outside. Yes, yes, these are all very valid excuses but seriously, can't you just be quiet?

Turns out he can't be quiet. There is no inside voice component on this child -just 2 volumes...loud and extra loud. I keep thinking maybe going to see the Blue Angels did damage to his ears...but no, I think this is just my loud, boisterous, can hear you down the street, not appropriate for the library child.

I keep saying, "if he doesn't take a nap he is going to be SO cranky"

But you know what???

It turns out that he is just fine without the nap, it is me that is cranky.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


Ahhh...what a beautiful sight.

Thank you Cliff...for the oven and for not waking my babies!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The nerve of them!

How is it that when I tiptoe around the house, do my blending and mixing in a sound-proof room and don't even let a pin drop, my children wake from their naps at the first creak in the hardwoods they hear?

And today Cliff and his sidekick are here pounding and sawing and dropping steel bricks on the ground and there is narry a peep from the two rooms upstairs. ( double ovens are installed so even if they did wake up I wouldn't double ovens are here!)

I don't get the logic...but I guess I'll go with it!

Friday, August 17, 2007

More things you shouldn't say...

And I'm talk to you honey...

1. I'm sooo tired ( that because you were up every hour feeding your youngest or because you were watching Magnum reruns and drinking port on the couch???)

2. I feel fat ( that because your body refuses to give up the extra 20 pounds from childbirth or because you had Hardee's, a smoothie, and a doughnut FOR BREAKFAST!)

3. I need a vacation ( that because you haven't had 1 minute without being responsible for at least 1 child in the past 3 months or because you just returned home from a trip to LA WITHOUT KIDS, and are just a bit hungover)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

What you shouldn't say

1. You're so big it is hard to believe you aren't having twins
2. You know...sometimes the ultrasounds don't show the never know you might be having twins. Sure looks like it.
3. Are you having multiples? (said by a woman pushing twins in a stroller...really...she should know better)
4. Wow, your stomach is so wide, are you sure it isn't twins?

Just like you should NEVER assume that someone is pregnant until the words come directly out of their mouth, you should NEVER assume that someone is having twins unless the words come directly out of their mouth.

Just becasue I'm eating for 2, doesn't mean that I am having 2.

And I'm back!

Sorry for the delay in posts...too much to tell.

Let's just say in the past 4 months I have
1. ganied 35 pounds
2. moved 250 miles
3. cursed 1.5 million times

Never has anything rattled me as much as selling our house...and now that we have moved into the Money Pit (more on that later) never has anything caused me to lose so much sleep.

But that should all change in the next few weeks when out darling little girl, named Mildre-Will by our son makes her appearance. Then lack of sleep, annoying realtors, and broken hot water heaters and air conditioners won't even make the top ten of my gripes.

Stay tuned for that should be really fun!,

Sunday, February 11, 2007

No Saints for Valentines

Valentines, schmalentines. I have never liked this holiday. It may stem from the fact that I was single for the first 25 years of my life and always hoping that that certain someone would send me a rose during 2nd period. I was so desperate I would have even taken the carnation.

Fast forward to Wednesday when I will be celebrating my 9th valentines day with my husband. And I tell you, I still hate this holiday. Years past have brought gifts ranging from running shorts to body fat calipers. Romance is not his forte. And forethought...well usually the gifts roll around right after I throw a small temper tantrum and huf away.

So why can't I stop myself from hoping that this year will be different? Will I get a card? I doubt it. Will I get flowers? Definitely not. Will I get jewelry? You've got to be kidding me.

The only thing coming my way is a mattress...don't get carried away, this isn't romantic, and we're not reliving college..this is a twin mattress, it's for the little boy.

It seems the only holiday on good old hubby's radar is the very romantic President's Day. And guess what comes with that? A mattress sale.

Romance at its best. I'm so lucky.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A House Selling Mystery

So who on my street wants us to leave so badly that they are putting up signs around the neighborhood directing potential buyers to our house? I have put up one sign in front of our house...but there is a mysterious one at the top of our street...who would do such a thing?

All fingers point to the neighbor with the yappy dog. But seriously, all you have to do to help our house sell is keep your dog inside...and you too for that matter!

Not everything is included

House on Market...Day 1

4 pamphlets taken...and one went to my nosy neighbor down the street who asked me to give it to him so he didn't have to get out of his car. Does he know that it cost me $1 to color copy one of those things???

1 showing....things were going swimmingly until the end. I bribed darling son to sit on our bed and eat a picnic and watch Cars. He did well while "mommy's friends" inspected the closets, pantry, and bedrooms. In fact he did SO well that he neglected to tell me that he had to go potty. So imagine the potential buyers surprise when they went to check out the master bedroom and bath and they found naked boy standing in a puddle of pee.

No, as much as you ask, you cannot have the naked boy OR the pee if you buy the house. They are both all mine!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 the head!

OK, really, you are killing me.

Let me preface this with...I LOVE my husband. (I have to say that so that when he reads this he doesn't instantly make me go back to work and stop writing about him!)

But what is it about men and their ability to handle sickness?

Rewind 14 weeks when my pregnancy started and I would say..."I really don't feel well today" What is my ideal response? "I'm sorry honey, what can I do?" Instead...I get "Yeah, me too, my stomach is acting up."

UHHH...unless those medical devices you are selling do something totally ARE NOT sick like me! But feel free to jump on the bandwagon.

Fast forward to this week where my son and I have suffered (and I mean suffered) the stomach bug. It has not been pretty, and darling hubby did do a good job taking care of us on Sunday. But come Monday night...lordy can't you see it coming????

"My stomach doesn't feel right"

Well let me tell you buddy...with a Captain Morgan's and Gingerale in one hand and a cigar in the aren't getting much sympathy from me.