One of these is not like the other

I try really hard to cook and eat well. Don't get me wrong...I have my vices, weaknesses, and secret stashes...but for the most part, we eat healthy and try to keep the junk out of the pantry. So imagine my surprise when I was in the pantry this afternoon and tucked in, all flirty and cozy with the old-fashioned oats, was a can of Spam.

I don't care that Anthony Bourdain AND Barack Obama have both been popularizing spam sushi, this item has no place in MY pantry. The nerve of it to put its moves on my whole grain and organic food, and end up spooning with the oats.

So when I confronted the Spam pimp, aka my husband, and informed him that I found his nasty Spam, his response was, "you only found one?"

Uh, what? You brought a posse?

I don't care if you are "Crazy Zesty", let me assure you, this will be a one night stand only.

I'm alive

There are so many reasons that I have disappeared for nearly 2 weeks and here they are in no particular order:

1. I have been studying the dictionary to learn the definitions of starblaster, annihilated, destroy, implode, droid, robot (specifically the difference between droid and robot)...the list could go on forever. We are EXTREMELY focused on all things Star Wars around here and I am trying to keep up and answer all questions. R2D2 I can do, but it turns out I have no idea who the hell Padme Amidala is.

2. I have been stressing about Kindergarten applications. We found out that we got into our 2nd choice, and won't hear from our first choice until May. It may seem simple, but it is enough to keep me up every night. I have called 3 times since our acceptance to make sure I am doing all the right things so they don't give my space away...they haven't yet, but if I call once more, they just might.

3. I've been trying to find a job. Not really trying that hard, but I have sent out my resume to a couple of places. And you know what? People just aren't calling me back. 5 years ago, I could have had any of these jobs...but now...not so much. Damn economy...oh and the 3 typos I found in my resume yesterday. Ooops.

4. Speaking of the economy, I have been struggling with what the right way to address our impending financial doom. Do I buckle down, save every penny, and horde until this passes? Or do I do my best to put some life into this economy. I mean, seriously, some of these sales are too good to pass up. I've been doing a bit of both. I spent a total of 3 hours trying to buy clothes for the kids at Crew Cuts so that they'll look cute when we're poor...but also have switched to all generic brands for housekeeping. I know, I know, the sacrifices I make.

5. I've been reading a new book recommended in the New York Times. Miss Manners' Guide to Rearing Perfect Children. I'm on page 57 (the font is WAY small), but I'll let you know how it goes. Or better yet, feel free to let me know how perfect my children are!

6. I've been doing 2 a day work outs. Why? I don't know. Perhaps my jeans have recently been restricting the oxygen to my brain. But I bought this AWESOME DVD that is literally kicking my ass. I still go to the gym and make sure that I do this once a day. Just staring at my new friend Jillian's stomach is enough to keep me motivated!

I could go on and on...but you get the point. In fact, you are probably so bored right now you wish I had never reappeared. Hopefully we'll get a bit more interesting in the near future. If not, I'll have to resort to fiction.